So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
