Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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