I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
a search helicopter?!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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