just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
