I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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