I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
