I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
