I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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