I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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