i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
