1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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