You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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