he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
