just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
