Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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