Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize