he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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