As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
