She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize