If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
