we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
