the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
