yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
