I can text with my tongue
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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