Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
is it fun? or sober?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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