if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
