So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ugly people sure do ruin things
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
