my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
