i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
