dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Boobs speak an international language.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
