The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
