Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
