Tell her she can't have a vagina
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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