based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
