Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
