saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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