giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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