my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
