we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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