Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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