Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
