Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No subtext here. People are naked.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
