No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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