I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
