I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
