I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
