my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i think my cat just said my name.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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