i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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