We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize