You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
