I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
