I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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