WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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