I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
