Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He? As in you personified your dick?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
