Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
