Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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