cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
