normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
