All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Best friends brother. Beat that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
