i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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